If you’re in a relationship, you likely understand your other half pretty well. After all, communication and understanding are key to making a relationship of any kind work. But they’re especially important when it comes to feeling loved and expressing love for one another.
That’s exactly why love languages are so important. The idea of love languages – five love languages, to be specific – was created by Dr. Gary Chapman. Love languages are meant to help you understand how you like to show and receive love.
But the love languages aren’t just about you. They’re also important to understand when you’re in a relationship, as they can help you understand how your partner also likes to show and receive love. And if you know your partner’s love language, you may be able to reap all kinds of emotional benefits.
Here’s how learning your partner’s love language can better your relationship overall.
The Love Languages Help You Better Understand Your Partner and Yourself
Above all else, the five love languages can help you better understand both your ideas on love and your partner’s ideas on love. That’s why they were created – Chapman came up with the love languages to illustrate the way in which people show and understand love.
Each love language is essentially a way to express love. They include:
- Words of Affirmation, or using words like “I love you” to show love.
- Acts of Service, or performing actions to show love.
- Receiving Gifts, which is feeling loved when you’re gifted something.
- Quality Time, which involves giving someone undivided attention.
- Physical Touch, or showing love in physical ways.
Every person is said to identify with a different love language. While you might appreciate acts of service most, your partner might value words of affirmation. Knowing this information can help you identify what you need to feel loved. And, perhaps more importantly, it can help you recognize what your partner needs to feel loved and appreciated.
So, if you learn your partner’s love language, you’ll have a better understanding of what they value and seek emotionally. This can help you express your love towards your partner in ways they clearly appreciate.
For example, if their love language is quality time, shutting off your phone and talking with them each evening could bring you two closer together. Or, if they value gifts, a small but meaningful gift from time to time can do the same.
Understanding Your Partner’s Love Language Can Lead to Better Communication
In addition to understanding your partner better overall, learning their love language may also help your communication. The love languages themselves are a way of communicating. So, if you know how your partner likes to communicate their love, you may be able to improve how you speak to each other.
Research has actually found that learning the love languages and knowing which your other half prefers can help your communication. A study conducted in 2000 discovered that the love languages help give couples a more effective way to communicate. It was even more effective than other methods of communication.
Additionally, psychologists believe that love languages are a good way to improve communication. Identifying which love language is important to you and which is important to your partner can help you resolve some issues that cause disagreements or frustration.
Love languages can improve communication because you’re able to meet each other’s needs. When you know how your partner likes to express love, you can help them feel loved by using their love language.
For example, if your partner is constantly mad about chores not being done, knowing that their love language is acts of service could help resolve the issue. You might be able to better recognize that when you do the dishes, you’re expressing how much you love them. Or, if your partner is frustrated because you haven’t spent time together lately, knowing their love language is “quality time” can help you recognize that what they’re really upset about is a lack of quality time.
There are many ways to use your partner’s love language to both express your love and understand why communication might be breaking down.
Knowing Your Partner’s Love Language Can Lead to a Deeper Relationship
When you learn your partner’s love language, you’ll be able to understand each other in a new way. And, as mentioned above, it may also help you communicate better. Overall, the love languages can even help you deepen your relationship in new ways.
Everyone’s love language differs, and you and your partner may not share a love language. But simply knowing their love language can make a big difference. When you understand how your partner wants to be loved and express love, you can listen and respond. And you can express your love for them in ways they’ll greatly appreciate.
For example, learning that quality time is your partner’s love language may inspire you to spend more one-on-one time together each day. If gifts are their love language, you might begin choosing more meaningful gifts for the holidays. If they prefer words of affirmation, you might express your feelings more vocally. These changes can bring happiness and warmth into your relationship, helping you both feel more loved and understood.
And over time, knowing each other’s love languages can help better the relationship. It can help you be more in tune with one another, and it really helps you understand what your partner needs from you. All you have to do is learn and listen, and you’ll be making positive steps in love.