Whether you already know your date in person or you met her online, the first date is an opportunity to make a lasting impression and to increase the chances of a relationship. Yet you may get so nervous about these dates that you’ve completely loused them up in the past. Instead of having another epic first date fail, make sure you’re prepared this time around.
Choose an Appropriate Location
You have to feel out the situation, and that’s tricky, especially when you don’t really know someone too well. You can ask her what she would like to do, but you don’t want to sound too wishy-washy about the plans either. Select an event or a location where the two of you can actually talk to one another. Going to the movies, for example, is not necessarily the best plan since you can’t communicate. Don’t feel as though you’re obligated to go to a formal dinner though either. Walking through the park, checking out the town festival or getting coffee on a cold winter’s night is fun too.
Put Effort into Your Appearance
Some people say that it shouldn’t matter what you look like and that your date should just like you for your personality. These individuals seem to have forgotten that physical attraction plays a major role in a relationship. You shouldn’t wear outfits that aren’t representative of you or feel that you need to look like you’re a model, but part of first date etiquette is ensuring that you look appropriate for the activity and that you took the time to care about your appearance.
Don’t Conduct an Interview or Steal the Show
Finding the perfect balance in the conversation is important. Acting like a gentleman means letting your date talk about herself. You don’t want to turn the date into a monologue for yourself. On the other hand, you need to proceed with caution when it comes to falling into the interview trap. If you just ask her question after question, then you sound as though you’re conducting an interview. Make sure that you provide some information about yourself. Remember, she needs to figure out if she likes you too.
Don’t Get Too Serious
Perhaps you are on a first date with a girl who has been your best friend for a long time, and conversations about serious topics might arise naturally. However, when you’re first getting to know someone, bringing up topics that are too intense can injure the relationship. For example, if you begin to talk about getting married, having children and buying a house together, you’re probably going to scare your date away.
Be Yourself. Seriously.
You’ve probably heard it a million times and rolled your eyes at it twice as much, but it’s the truth. The point of a first date is for the two of you to figure out if you like each other enough to keep this thing going. When you aren’t truthful about whom you are or put on a facade during the first date, then you either have to perpetually hold on to the lie and build a fake relationship or tell your partner that you weren’t truthful. Both situations don’t lead to a happy future.
“Are you from another planet? Because you’re out of this world.”
Avoid all of these cheesy and overused pickup lines. First of all, you have already asked the girl out on a date; you don’t need to use these trite platitudes anymore. Also, women tend to move away from guys who still use lines that didn’t even stand a chance the first time they were spoken.
Generally, discussing past lovers leads to an awkward situation. These conversations can bring up personal topics that your relationship just isn’t ready for yet. You are just beginning to get to know the person and starting to develop a connection with the individual. Mentioning information about your old relationships is sure to kill the mood.
“Do you mind leaving the tip?”
If you ask a girl out on a date, pay for her. That doesn’t mean you need to pay for every single activity that the two of you do for the rest of your life, but you don’t want to come across as a cheapskate. Just pay the bill and be done with it. Show her that chivalry has not completely gone to the gutter.
“So do you think we’ll have a second date?”
This question is an awkward one to ask. If the answer is no, then the first date will grow unpleasant. If the answer is yes, then the second date is naturally going to happen. When you rush into situations, you can make the other person feel pressured and rushed. Even if the connection was otherwise great, these type of statements can chase an individual away.
“When we’re married…”
Remember, you are on the first date with this individual. You do not need to rush into heavy topics like marriage, children and the purchase of your first house together. At this point in the relationship, you cannot possibly know for sure that any of those things are going to happen.
“You’re the one. I just know.”
Even if you really do truly know that this person is the one, the first date is not the best time to say it. These words can scare a person off. You want to show that you are willing to get to know the individual and that you want her to get to know you as well.
“I love you.”
These three words carry a tremendous amount of meaning with them. Maybe you’ve known your date for some time now, but the two of you have just been friends. Still though, you want to give this new connection time to develop, and you want to say those words when the time is right.
Keep these bits of first date etiquette in mind can help you to have a successful first date and maybe even a second one too.